Vanity Fear

A Pretentious A**hole's Guide to B-Movie Bullsh*t

The Adventures of Drake Wantsum, Hollywood Stuntman

Part Five

"The Wake Continues"

“Hi, Drake.”


“We good?”

“All water under the bridge as far as I’m concerned. You still going to marry that girl?”


“That’s good. She was just in it for the money.”

“I know. Speaking of girls, who was that hot little number I just saw you talking to?”

“That was no hot little number, that was Stevie’s mom.”

“Get the fuck out of town!”

“Swear to God.”

“But she would have had to have been—“

“—Thanks, I already did the math.”

“What’d she want?”

“My balls on a platter.”

“But not in the good way?”