Vanity Fear

A Pretentious A**hole's Guide to B-Movie Bullsh*t

The Adventures of Drake Wantsum, Hollywood Stuntman

Part Two

“The Newbie”


“Okay kid, here’s your chance to prove yourself to the producer. You do that and you’ve got it made in the stunt business.”

“I dunno, Drake. It doesn’t seem safe.”

“That’s very perceptive of you, Stevie. This stunt isn’t safe at all. In fact I’m pretty sure it was designed to kill whoever does it.”


“Turns out our producer is a big crybaby who thinks big fancy breasts are more important than the bonds of true friendship. I’m pretty sure he wants to murder me.”

“But I’m the one doing the stunt!”

“Yeah, it’s all sorts of fucked up.”