Vanity Fear

A Pretentious A**hole's Guide to B-Movie Bullsh*t

Filtering by Tag: Tony Danza

50 Words or Less - Going Ape!

For some the capsule review comes easy, but for me it’s an exercise in pure frustration. As a means of self-discipline I have decided to confront that which tortures me through this continuing feature—B-Movie Bullsh*t in 50 Words or Less.

Directed by the screenwriter of the Eastwood orangutan movies, Going Ape! pairs Taxi stars Danza and De Vito in a dispiriting comedy that’s too juvenile for adults, but too adult for kids. It features a scene where a hit man is knocked down by the body of an attractive female cadaver.

The Adventures of Drake Wantsum, Hollywood Stuntman

Part Seven

"Back On the Set"

“This is ridiculous, Drake. I can’t believe they only gave us half a day off to bury Stevie.”

“The artistic process is bigger than any one man, Vic. That’s just the way it is.”

“We’re making a movie about an asshole who inherits three orangutans.”

“No, we’re making the movie about an asshole who inherits three orangutans.”

“I thought you’d be the one really pissed off about this. You and Stevie seemed so close.”

“Objects in the mirror are closer than they might appear.”

“What does that mean?”

“I don’t know. I smoked something Eddie gave me at the wake.”