Vanity Fear

A Pretentious A**hole's Guide to B-Movie Bullsh*t

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What I've Been Up To....

I'm not dead! No, really! Unfortunately for VF, I just reached a point where time was not on my side. That said, I have managed to remain somewhat productive online--just not here. I urge you to enjoy the following links as I attempt to think of ways to keep the site updated more than every couple of months.


1) Killer Party

2) TC 2000

3) Bounty Hunters


1)  I Am Not A Hipster! (I Just Look, Sound and Act Like One)

2) Why I'm Not A Strip Club Dude

3) I'm A Guy Who Loves Romantic Comedies

Flick Attack:

1) Cotton Comes to Harlem

2) Penelope

3) Tucker & Dale Vs. Evil

4) Going Ape!

5) Little Darlings

6) No Time For Sergeants

7) Cold Turkey

The Four Worst Movies With the Word "Greatest" In Their Title

The Greatest Show on Earth (1952)

Considered the worst movie to ever win a Best Picture Oscar by many of the people who write for this blog, this Cecil B. DeMille circus drama is an insomniac’s nightmare—it’ll make you want to sleep more than anything else in the world, but will piss you off just enough to keep you awake.

The Greatest Story Ever Told (1965)

Bet you didn’t know that Jesus was Swedish, did you? Long, boring and terrible, but still worth watching just to enjoy the hilariously inappropriate celebrity cameos. If you can’t quote John Wayne’s only line in this movie, you probably don't belong on this site.

The Greatest Athlete In the World (1973)

This Jan Michael Vincent live action Disney flick actually isn’t that bad, but it turns out that there aren’t that many movies with the word “Greatest” in the title, so some unassuming film was bound to suffer. Life’s unfair sometimes. That said it’s the only movie of the four that’s so obscure I couldn’t find a decent image of the poster for it. 

The Greatest (1977)

This biopic starring the legend himself is 100x better than Ali, but that says far more about how much Michael Mann fucked up one of the most compelling stories in American 20th century history than how good this flick is.


Catching Up With Canuxploitation

As you can see I've adopted a new strategy here at Vanity Fear (AKA Still The House of Glib until I get the banner changed) and instead of writing a new longer post every couple of weeks, have decided to contribute shorter daily posts instead. That way, experience has proven to me, leads to people actually visiting the site on occasion, which leads to me experiencing happiness, which leads to me not pressing the big red button the aliens gave me for when I could no longer justify the further existence of my destructive species.

But since I know some of you out there actually enjoyed my longer pieces I wanted to take the time to lead you to some I've recently written for another awesome blog, Paul Corupe's excellent Canuxploitation. It's not everyday you get to write for a website that actually coined a phrase, so I've been excited by the opportunity a random email I sent to Paul has afforded me. I've contributed three reviews and one amusing list thus far to Paul's site and I thought I'd link to them here for those of you who haven't yet confronted them in their natural habitat.

1. The 5 Best/Worst Performances by American Actors in Canuxploitation Films

As the title suggests, this is an amusing list in which I make fun of 10 yanks who went up north to collect a much-appreciated paycheck.

2. Agency

In this early 80s political thriller/ad-world satire, Lee Majors plays a character he never played before and never would again--the world's manliest copywriter.

3. Blonde and Blonder

Someone thought that ripping off Dumb and Dumber by recasting the leads with Pamela Anderson and Denise Richards was a surefire way to B.O. magic. My review explains why they were incredibly stupid for thinking this.

4. Tanya's Island

In this film, my least favourite female Prince protege cockteases an apeman until the creature just can't take it any more. This film is terrible, but that didn't keep me from admiring it.

The ABCs of B-Movie Bullsh*t -- From A to Z