Vanity Fear

A Pretentious A**hole's Guide to B-Movie Bullsh*t

Filtering by Category: Fumetti

Repost - The Demon and Mary Marvel, A House of Glib Fumetti

A Tale of Love Found and Love Lost

There once was a very sad demon

 
Who was a touch overdramatic
 
 
One day he came upon a statue
of a beautiful young woman
 
 
And found what he had
always been looking for
 
There was just one problem
 
 
But it wasn't insurmountable....
 
Believing that there might
be a magical solution to his problem
the lovesick demon went to visit
a famous (and leggy) sorceress
 
 
But the sorceress wasn't convinced
and needed to hear more
 
 
This is what the sorceress
needed to hear
 
 
It took quite a long time,
but eventually the demon did everything
that the sorceress asked him to
and she gave him the spell he desired
 
 
Which (roughly) translated into English meant
 
 
His spell now cast
the demon waited anxiously
for it to take effect
 
 
Having recited the magical spell
he had sacrificed so much to learn,
the demon waited to see
if all his effort had been worth it
 
 
Minutes passed
and the statue did not move
 
 
And the demon feared
all his toil had been for naught....
 
That is until....
 
 
She began to stir!
 
 
The demon was overjoyed!
 
 
But....
 
 
The statue....
 
 
 
Seemed to have
something else in mind....
 
 
Actually, make that
someone else....
 
 
The demon took it
as well as he could
 
 
Moral:
 
No matter how pure
your love may be,
the hot girl is
ALWAYS
going to pick
the taller douchebag
 
THE END

Repost: Fumetti Theatre

 

The House of Glib
is
Proud to Present
 
Fumetti Theater
 
Starring
 
Jessica from DragonQuest VIII
 
 
This is the story of a girl named Zadie
 
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She was very beautiful
 
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But also very sad
 
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She was sad
because she thought her life
was without meaning
 
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So she went to her grandfather
 
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And asked
 
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He answered
 
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Zadie thought about this
 
 
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And she decided to ask someone else
 
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So she went East
and found a friendly ear
 
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Zadie thought about this
 
 
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And she decided to ask someone else
 
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So she went West
and found the Smartest Man in the World
 
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Zadie thought about this
 
 
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And she decided to ask someone else
 
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So she went South
and found a wealthy businessman
 
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Zadie thought about this
 
 
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And she decided to ask someone else
 
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So she went North
and found someone very pale
 
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Zadie thought about this
 
 
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And she decided to ask someone else
 
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So she went back home
and ran into a girl
she used to know from school
 
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And
having nothing to lose
she asked the old acquaintance her question
 
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Zadie thought about this
 
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And she applied for a job
at The Boom-Chicka-Chicka-Wa-Wa Lounge
 
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Moral:
Cleavage is destiny