Vanity Fear

A Pretentious A**hole's Guide to B-Movie Bullsh*t

Not everything I've written for FLICK ATTACK has made it to the show. Mr. Lott insists that these rapidly aging reviews will be posted eventually, but until then I'm just going to assume that they have been:

Rejected By Rod(?)

The Adventures of Hercules


There are two reasons to love The Adventure of Hercules, the second of two films made about the famous demi-god by director Luigi Cozzi and star Lou Ferrigno.  The first is its refreshing dependence on a largely female cast (and that’s before a bunch of Amazons show up), which seems to have less to do with the narrative demands of the plot as much as the director’s desire to make a movie with a lot of really hot Italian chicks in it. As a reviewer who enjoys movies with a lot of really hot Italian chicks in them, this is a definite plus.

The second reason to love the movie is that it’s as insane as we’ve come to expect from the man who gave us Starcrash (in which Caroline Munro, in just one instance, is endangered by a giant lesbian robot) and the first Hercules (in which the hero is shown creating the constellations by throwing stuff into the sky). In this case, the insanity comes from Hercules search for Zeus’ seven stolen thunderbolts, which the god requires to quell the rebellion started by his (really hot) wife Hera. Said bolts are hidden inside a variety of foes, including a hairy monster, a busty Gorgon, Hades, a busty spider lady and a fire monster.

You just have to watch the final fight in which the battle between science and religion (Cozzi’s for the latter) is waged between an animated T-Rex and gorilla to understand the peculiar genius of this neglected auteur’s demented imagination.