While some may say that reposting material written over a year ago is an act of profound laziness, I prefer to think of it as starting a new House of Glib Tradition. In much the same way the TV networks are not only allowed, but actually obligated to rerun the same old cartoons year-after-year (even now when they are easily available on DVD), I like to think that I'm not so much saving myself some work, as much as I am indulging my readers' nostalgia for self-indulgent holiday-themed horror movie posts (even if they themselves aren't exactly aware of such nostalgic feelings just yet). That said, I have taken the opportunity to reformat these posts, as well as add some new content when I felt it was appropriate. For example you can see how this entry differs aesthetically from the original post I wrote almost exactly a year ago by visiting it here.
For our first memorable moment (and thus #5 in our countdown), I've selected a scene from what is probably the most infamous of all the Christmas-themed horror films, 1984's Silent Night, Deadly Night. When it was first released, the film was met with protests from parents groups who picketed the theaters it was exhibited at, angered as they were by the thought of a slasher movie depicting a murderous Santa Claus on a killing spree. It didn't seem to matter to these protesters (nor would it those who similarly complained about 2003's Bad Santa) that the antagonist in the movie wasn't actually the mythological character known as St. Nicholas, but instead just a homicidal maniac who happened to be dressed in a Santa Claus suit as he went about his murderous ways (although, in all likelihood, most of these angered parents were probably unaware of the distinction and were simply protesting the movie sight unseen because others had told them to). Merely associating the costume of the holiday icon with murder and psychosis was enough for the film to be dumped from theaters, banned outright in Ontario and held up a full year before it was released to video.
Of course the result of all this infamy was that by the time of the belated video release, horror fans everywhere were desperate to see the movie and video stores couldn't keep it on the shelves. So, after all the drama, the producers of the film actually saw a profit from their investment and rushed a sequel into production. Rushed being the word, since the second film was made so quickly and so haphazardly there wasn't enough footage shot to edit together a full-length film, so nearly half of its running time was made up of flashbacks from the first film (see also The Hills Have Eyes II and The Boogeyman II for examples of this cost-cutting approach). Three more sequels followed, but the fourth and fifth were of the in-name-only variety, as they had nothing to do with previous films beyond their main titles.
While the first film clearly did not deserve the protests it was met with, it would be a mistake to proclaim it a good movie--it isn't. Though it cannot be described as being one of the worst of the slasher movies, it is only marginally more successful than those that could. Still, it does have one scene that will stick in your memory long after all of the others have faded away--in fact it was the only moment I remembered from the movie when I recently revisited it a few months ago. The reason for this is simple and can be summed up in three words:
Boobs and Antlers.
Before the memorable moment occurs we watch as 8 year-old Billy Chapman, after having been traumatized by a visit with his demented grandfather, is orphaned when his parents are killed by a criminal in a Santa suit. He is then sent to a Catholic-run orphanage, where even as a young child he shows signs that the horrible things he has seen have damaged his mind and soul. A kind nun tries her best to help him, but her good work is usually undone by the stern Mother Superior who treats Billy with nothing but contempt. Following his 18th birthday he has no choice but to leave the place he has called home for the past decade and attempt to make a go of it in the real world. With the kind nun's help he gets a job at a toy store and even meets an adorable (and kinda slutty) girl who thinks he's cute and unsuccessfully tries to pop his cherry. Unfortunately the cruelty of the world and the constant reminders that it is the same holiday season when he lost his parents finally causes Billy (Robert Brian Johnson) to snap. Still dressed in the Santa outfit he was wearing as part of his job at the store, he kills all of his fellow employees and starts looking to "Punish!" all those he deems to be naughty and not nice.
Speaking of naughty, our moment begins when the action moves to two previously unseen characters who appear to be engaging in a little foreplay on a rec room pool table.
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The young man is named Tommy (Leo Geter) and the young woman is Denise (scream queen Linnea Quigley, whose early onscreen career featured her naked far more than it ever did clothed). It's unclear whether Denise lives at the house or is merely there to babysit, as this is apparently a detail the filmmakers felt was unnecessary to establish. We do know that they are not alone, since their erotic exploration is interupted by the calls of a young girl standing at the top of stairs.
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Like most young children on Christmas Eve, Cindy (Amy Stuyvesant) wants to stay up and see Santa Claus, which would put a serious halt on Tommy and Denise gettin' some. Denise uses her full authority as older sister/babysister/whatever the hell she is to get Cindy to go back to bad, warning her that if she stays up, Santa won't come (and neither will Denise, ba-dum-bump!). Cindy relents and returns to her room, which allows the young couple to get back to their naughty ways.
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But fate apparently doesn't want the two of them to screw, since Denise is distracted by the sound of bells ringing at the backdoor. She knows this means the cat wants in and decides she might as well do it now before any actual penetration has occurred. In what seems like an incredibly odd decision, she decides to get dressed before she goes to complete the chore, but chooses to only put on the bottom half of her outfit.
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With her perky scream queen boobs still very much in sight, Denise goes upstairs and to the house's backdoor.
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At first it seems like her ears have deceived her, as the cat is nowhere to be seen and doesn't heed any of her calls. Finally, out of frustration, she warns the cat that if he doesn't come right away, he's going to have to stay out the entire night. This get's the kitty's attention and he appears out of nowhere to come inside.
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But, in a shocking twist you could never see coming (unless you were actually watching the movie and capable of conscious thought) it turns out that Denise's ear's were deceiving her, as the sound of bells she heard didn't emanate from the cat's coller, but instead came from the bells on the cuffs of Billy's Santa costume. Just as she is about to shut the door, he leaps from the darkness, shouting out "Punish!" as he moves towards her. She screams and manages to get the door closed before he can bury his ax deep into her head.
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Unfortunately for Denise, the backdoor is apparently made out of painted styrofoam and Billy has no problem destroying it with a single blow of his weapon, while she watches both helplessly and toplessly.
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Denise runs to the living room, and nearly has her head taken off when Billy decides to throw his ax at her. (Note: this action is rendered unintenionally hilarious because in the shot where Billy throws the ax at her, it is obvious that his projectile is about to hit the wall handle-first and fall to the floor, but in the cut that immediately follows, the ax instead buries itself deeply into the wall beside Denise's head).
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Billy then runs to Denise and starts to wrestle with her. Denise gives him a good fight, but is ultimately unable to stop him from lifting her off of her feet.
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With her now at his mercy, Billy looks around the room for a way to "Punish!" her in a manner he feels she deserves for so brazenly walking around without a top on.
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It takes him only seconds to find exactly what he is looking for.
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With the demented purpose of the insane, Billy carries Denise towards the deer's head and proceeds to introduce the two of them in the most unpleasent way possible.
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Meanwhile, Tommy is still downstairs, where the stereo has apparently drowned out the sounds of a door being broken apart with an ax and Denise screaming for her life as she wrestles with and is impaled by an 18 year-old maniac who keeps shouting "Punish!" to remind himself of his mission. But eventually he grows curious about Denise's whereabouts and he decides to go upstairs and investigate. However, before he does, he decides to put on his shirt.
Given his girlfriend's decision to forgo her top, this action seems particular gratiutous, but it is an irony that does not go unrecognized or unrewarded. Now fully dressed, Tommy goes upstairs looking for Denise and manages to walk right past her during the course of his search.
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But it doesn't take him long to discover her and once he does he barely has time to scream like a girl before Billy grabs him from behind.
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Unlike Denise, Tommy has the good sense to pick up a weapon during his fight with the crazy teenager and he manages to get in one good hit during their brief struggle.
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Thinking that he's taken care of the maniac, Tommy attempts to call for help, but Billy has only just begun to fight and starts to strangle his prey with the telephone cord.
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Tommy manages to get in one last good shot when he kicks Billy in Santa's sack.
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But this only enrages Billy more and he drops Tommy to the ground, tears off his shirt (see, he ended up just as topless as his girlfriend anyway) and throws him out of the window, where he is impaled by a large shard of glass.
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Assuming that his job is done, Billy retrieves his ax from the wall and is about to leave when he hears a young voice cry out "Santa!" as he passes by a doorway.
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It appears that young Cindy is as deaf as her sister/babysitter's boyfriend, because she doesn't seem to associate the sounds of mayhem and violent death that have just occurred with the young man in the Santa Claus suit wielding a large ax and instead assumes he is none other than St. Nicholas his bad self. Sensing no danger at all, she approaches him and asks him if he has a present for her.
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Billy is momentarily confused by this development, before he decides to ask the young girl "Have you been good or have you been naughty?"
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"Good!" the innocent young girl answers him sweetly.
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"You haven't done anything naughty?" he asks to confirm her first answer. "No, Santa Claus," she insists as he begins to pull a bloody box cutter out of his pocket.
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"Are you sure?" he remains unconvinced. The girl nods and this finally seems to settle the matter. Deciding she has indeed been good he kneels down in front of her and gives her the blood-stained box cutter, which she accepts with a look of well-warrented confusion.
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His job at the house now truly done, Billy stands up and leaves the girl to discover the horror he has wrought and thus traumatize her the same way he was when he was her age.
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And now--for the first time at The House of Glib--you can enjoy this memorable holiday horror moment in its entirety. Just remember that there is nudity and violence in this clip, so it's officially NSFW: